Wait for it.........

Here we go, I totally need to say a prayer before I continue writing one more word.

Deep breathe, totally one of those days where emotions slap your fingers on the steering wheel and take hold, crashing you from curb to curb. Not loving it (in this moment), but you know what, the Lord promises great great great things and even when I am stuck in my humanly rut, I can have peace about the Lord holding me and reminding me that gold must be refined. I = refining process. 

For the last eight months we have been fund-raising for our adoption to Uganda. God did some awesome stuff through us in the process and after a specific event, God told me "Okay now wait for my go". I am such a turd so I think "oooh i do not want to tell my husband... you do it." So for a week I pray about what He has revealed to me. My husband and I are chatting and what do you know, God also gave him the stop sign. We decide we will not move forward in the adoption process until the Lord gives us the green light. Until then, we plan to just continue saving our money and praying for the child or children God has promised our hearts.

Follow up. I truly did not want to reveal this to anyone. All's my flesh/pride could come up with was that people would "think stuff", real cute. I worried people would think we spent the money we raised, or we didn't have enough money, or we weren't aloud to adopt. ... so God literally shouts at me to wait, tells my husband and I worry about what other people think... shouldn't I be totally stoked that God obviously has bigger plans than I anticipated for our lives and not only is He giving us the opportunity to bless others through our experience and fundraising, He is giving us time to save our money, and who even knows what else is going to happen in between now and when we leave to get our baby. I am stoked. But my emotions want to play sides.

MAYBE our baby isn't even born yet or maybe our baby has not been found, maybe there is more than one ... I could go on with "maybe's" forever.  But I still wont know Gods plan and we certainly wouldn't be figuring it out by ignoring his red lights.God knows exactly what He is doing, and we trust that.

Thank you Lord for the hearts you have given my husband and I. Please be working in us to make us the parents you desire for our children. Thank you for protecting us, loving us and dying to give us life forever with you. We don't deserve these sweet mercies but oh how thankful we are for them. Please watch over this child or children you have been preparing our hearts for. Give them the same protection and love you bless us with day after day. Amen.

Philippians 4:7
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.